Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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