Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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