that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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