I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize