im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
