brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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