My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
