so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
