watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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