I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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