if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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