Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
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