If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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