Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
