Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
