One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
