I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
