So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
