i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
