1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
why do cheetos always look like penises
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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