i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
