i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
