You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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