Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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