my vag is so smooth its legendary
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
