I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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