She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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