we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
