you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
