Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
