Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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