He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
