I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
