Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
