Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
