That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize