Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There r osticjed everywhere
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
