You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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