my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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