no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
