That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
