dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
