Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
