So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
