Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
pray to the hookup gods
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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