on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
