Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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