I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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