the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
