Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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