what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After tacos, we're chasing women.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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