Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
