Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
