I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
