I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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