Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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