He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
