found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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