i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
