Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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