Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
