Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he shaved USA in his pubs
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize