Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
