I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
