There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
