I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
