You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
