wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
