did you get engaged???
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
