Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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