can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize